hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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