I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
