She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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