Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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