I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
