i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
