If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
