We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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