He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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