half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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