so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
