Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
