Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
