he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
