I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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