the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
