I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
