you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
