next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Do vagina's smell?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
