Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
