Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize