how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
