I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
