i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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