I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
