It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize