my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
