Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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