We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dick very happy bro
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
