areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
