did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
