My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
