I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
