i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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