Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
