ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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