i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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