Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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