And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize