I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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