Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
