I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
