all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
