I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
