He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
