He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
