im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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