we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
