so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
