do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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