Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
