life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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