Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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