She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
