Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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