he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The power of my boobs compel you
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
