There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
