do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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