Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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