You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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