let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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