So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
