Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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